He's an honest man – you could shoot craps with him over the telephone.
Snow and adolescence are the only problems that disappear if you ignore them long enough.
An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen.
Benjamin Franklin may have discovered electricity, but it was the man who invented the meter who made the money.
Home, nowadays, is a place where part of the family waits till the rest of the family brings the car back.
The man who didn't want his wife to work has been succeeded by the man who asks about her chances of getting a raise.
Today's accent may be on youth, but the stress is still on the parents.
Always remember, money isn't everything – but also remember to make a lot of it before talking such fool nonsense.
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
Courage is the art of being the only one who knows you're scared to death.
To sell something, tell a woman it's a bargain; tell a man it's deductible.
Experience is what enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
Nonchalance is the ability to remain down to earth when everything else is up in the air.
The fastest way for a politician to become an elder statesman is to lose an election.
You may not be able to read a doctor's handwriting and prescription, but you'll notice his bills are neatly typewritten.
Isn't it a shame that future generations can't be here to see all the wonderful things we're doing with their money?
Science may never come up with a better office communication system than the coffee break.
Ever notice that the whisper of temptation can be heard farther than the loudest call to duty.
This would be a much better world if more married couples were as deeply in love as they are in debt.
Nothing is as embarrassing as watching your boss do something you assured him couldn't be done.
One way to get high blood pressure is to go mountain climbing over molehills.
A vacation is what you take when you can no longer take what you've been taking.