Ogden Nash Quotes

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Ogden Nash
Born Frederic Ogden Nash
(1902-08-19)August 19, 1902
Rye, New York
Died May 19, 1971(1971-05-19) (aged 68)
Baltimore, Maryland
Cause of death Crohn’s disease
Education Harvard University (for 1 year)
Occupation Poet, author, lyricist, pianist
Spouse(s) Frances Leonard
Children Isabel and Linell
Parent(s) Edmund and Mattie

Women would rather be right than reasonable.
The trouble with a kitten is that eventually it becomes a cat.
If you don't want to work you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work.
Ogden Nash
Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor.
Commitments the voters don't know about can't hurt you.
To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up.
Ogden Nash
Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else.
Ogden Nash
I claim there ain't Another Saint As great as Valentine.
I do not like to get the news, because there has never been an era when so many things were going so right for so many of the wrong persons.
Ogden Nash
The most exciting happiness is the happiness generated by forces beyond your control.
Ogden Nash
Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore.
Ogden Nash
Progress might have been alright once, but it has gone on too long.
The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret; we make up our minds every night to leave it early, but we make up our bodies every morning to keep it late.
Ogden Nash
The only people who should really sin are the people who can sin and grin.
Too clever is dumb.
A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.
Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.
Do you think my mind is maturing late, or simply rotted early?
I hope my tongue in prune juice smothers, If I belittle dogs and mothers.
The cow is of the bovine ilk; one end is moo, the other milk.
Professional men, they have no cares; whatever happens, they get theirs.
Some debts are fun when you are acquiring them, but none are fun when you set about retiring them.
Ogden Nash
People who have what they want are fond of telling people who haven't what they want that they really don't want it.
Ogden Nash
I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance, Were it not for making a living, which is rather a nouciance.
Ogden Nash
I think that I shall never see a billboard lovely as a tree. Perhaps, unless the billboards fall, I'll never see a tree at all.
Ogden Nash
No, you never get any fun out of the things you haven't done.
People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.
Ogden Nash
Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave when they think that their children are naive.
Ogden Nash
There are people who are very resourceful, at being remorseful, and who apparently feel that the best way to make friends is to do something terrible and then make amends.
Ogden Nash
Every Englishman is convinced of one thing, viz.: That to be an Englishman is to belong to the most exclusive club there is.
Ogden Nash
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.
Ogden Nash
A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold.
Ogden Nash
Every New Year is the direct descendant, isn't it, of a long line of proven criminals?
Ogden Nash
Certainly there are things in life that money can't buy, but it's very funny – Did you ever try buying them without money?
Ogden Nash
Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore, and that's what parents were created for.
Ogden Nash
Some debts are fun when you are acquiring them, but none are fun when you set about retiring them.
Ogden Nash
I think remorse ought to stop biting the consciences that feed it.
Remorse is a violent dyspepsia of the mind.
I have an idea that the phrase 'weaker sex' was coined by some woman to disarm the man she was preparing to overwhelm.
Ogden Nash
Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.
Ogden Nash
There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball, and that is to have either a clear conscience or none at all.
Ogden Nash
Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker.