10 May 1970 |
My blood runs cold when I hear the 'great news' that we have found a marker for the Down's syndrome gene, which means we can identify it more easily. Why is that good news? It's only good news if you're going to terminate.
I definitely used to write a lot at school. Comic poetry and drawings about people.
What having a Down's syndrome child isn't – and I feel very strongly about this – is a tragedy. All those pregnancy books you read when you are expecting refer to Down's syndrome as if it were the worst possible outcome, and it's not.
Comedians have to write to survive because you don't get cast for your beauty.
A Local Government Stationery Store is something to behold. It's like walking through the back of a cupboard into a really dull Narnia.
Bad impulse buys make you feel grim, don't they? It's like having consumer Tourette's. I gravitate towards austere foreign-language film DVDs when insecure.
Once you have a Down's syndrome child, you can't conform. In a way, you're free.
Getting a new passport took me a stupid amount of time. I had to go back five times with different photographs because they kept saying I was smiling, which is against the rules. I was not smiling.
My mother always worked and thought staying at home was a bit twee, and that you should get your act together and do something useful. Now I think that's the most useful thing you can do: bring up some non-criminals.
I once had a friend who did the hair for sci-fi movies, and after a particularly bad break-up I stupidly went to her salon and told her she could do anything she liked. She dyed the bottom cherry red and the top peroxide blonde.
I'm feeling incredibly Botox-tempted as my face collapses around my shoulders.
Red carpets and dressing up are a part of work that I enjoy less than some people.
TV feels quite constipated, and the thing I find particularly difficult is the branding of the channels where it's not 'Is it a good script?' but 'Is it a BBC2 script?'
It's quite confusing being one of the less wealthy people at a posh place.
I'm sorry to say I'm very lizard-like. My skin is dry, so covering my face in greasy antioxidants is a better alternative.
When I got pregnant with my first child, I gained nearly 5st. I did a bit of pretending: 'I'm just really small, so I just put on a lot of weight when I'm pregnant.' That is true, but I also ate a lot of cake.
If you get 10,000 guys to put their ideal woman into a computer, it still comes out looking like Angelina Jolie.
The only way I'll ever run a marathon is if I'm involved in the administration.
My mum's from Yorkshire and my parents aren't snotty or posh – they're very hard workers, both of them.
I tell people that I'm a Christian, but I don't think it's giving an insight into who I am or what I'm about.
As a writer myself, my job has very often been to also write on the job. So you get the script and a vague idea of how the scene might work, and you then add funny words or change the script. I'm not the world's best writer or the world's best actor, but I can do that thing where I can fix – or ruin – fix-slash-ruin, add quirk, add value.
I think everyone is forgetting what plastic surgery is for – if you have a face-eating tumour, lose a breast or are involved in a car accident, then it's a good idea.
I'm very devoted to my kids – I'm completely blind to their faults.
I don't leave London, really, and I don't do theatre, because I want to put the kids to bed.
The children break all my jewelry, so everything I wear is cheap – from Topshop or Dorothy Perkins.
I always carry a pair of scissors around with me to cut things out of magazines.
People have really strong images of what church is, and it's almost certainly not the same as mine.
I have a lot of funny friends, though not everyone's funny all the time. Doon Mackichan's my funniest friend in the pub; Nina Conti's the funniest with a monkey.
I've got a great relationship with my dad, but I can imagine how annoying it would be if I had to move back into his house.
I don't have the self-discipline for diets; I break rules I set for myself, so I try and eat more healthily, juice more, and avoid sugar.
When I'm depressed, I definitely comfort eat, but I also eat when I'm happy. The only time I don't eat is if I am terribly nervous.
When I'm a brunette, it's four times harder to hail a taxi. Then I go blonde again, and suddenly there are taxis everywhere.
One year you go in for auditions, and everybody thinks you're the queen of comedy, and the next year, you're so 'yesterday,' and it's not because you've done anything, or your ability has changed; you haven't been in work because you've been putting on weight and then trying to lose it.
When I write, I create really absurd situations which become false because I am after the joke.
My first film crush was Mark Lester as Oliver Twist in the Carol Reed film.
I've got spider veins all over my legs, so I wear opaque tights all winter. All sorts of colours.
I start the day with the intention of doing 4,000 sit-ups but then have to work.
Middle-aged women on telly is a bit of a hot topic – before, we were 27 to 37, and now we're 40 to 50. You do notice as you get older… you go past 35, and suddenly you're playing baddies.
I truly would love to be a designer-label girl, but I am very much High Street.