Warren Farrell Quotes

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Warren Farrell

Warren Farrell in 2011
Born Warren Thomas Farrell
(1943-06-26) June 26, 1943 (age 73)
Queens, New York
Occupation Author
Nationality American
Citizenship U.S.
Education

Ph.D from NYU in Political Science
M.A. from UCLA in Political Science
B.A. from Montclair State University in Social Sciences

Alma mater NYU, UCLA, Montclair State University
Period Contemporary
Genre Psychological
Social
Political
Subject Men’s, Women’s, fathers’ issues, gender; couples’ communication; child custody; boy crisis.
Literary movement Women’s movement
men’s movement
fathers’ movement
Notable works The Liberated Man (1974)
Why Men Are the Way They Are (1986)
The Myth of Male Power (1993)
Women Can’t Hear What Men Don’t Say (1999)
Father and Child Reunion (2001)
Why Men Earn More (2005)
Does Feminism Discriminate Against Men? (2008)
Notable awards

California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists (CAMFT) Award for Outstanding Contribution to the field of psychology, Santa Barbara, CA, 1988
Financial Times: one of 100 top Thought Leaders world-wide
Renaissance Weekend member
Onstep Institute for Mental Research, “Pioneer in the Psychology of Fatherhood Award”, 2000

Honorary Doctorates:

Professional School of Psychology, San Diego, 1985
Montclair State University, 2011[1]

Spouse Ursula Farrell (divorced)
Liz Dowling (2002 to present)
Children two stepdaughters
Website
warrenfarrell.com

Men are often a lot less vindictive than women are, because we are rejected constantly every day.
Warren Farrell
I don't think there's anything that is a greater area of discrimination against women today than the fact that nowhere in the world is there a female role model in team sports that more than half of a general audience would recognize.
Warren Farrell
Without children, men have more liberty to earn less – that is, they are free to pursue more fulfilling and less lucrative careers, like writing or art or teaching social studies.
Warren Farrell
Nobody has said to men, 'It is OK if you want to be a full-time dad; find a woman who will support you.'
Warren Farrell
Men move through a much different process before commitment than women do.
If women had to promise to provide for a man for a lifetime before he removed his veil and showed her his smile, would we think of this as a system of female privilege?
Warren Farrell
Men have the influence and power in business and politics. It is the mother who can make the child's bedtime earlier, take away desserts or ground the child.
Warren Farrell
It evolved from my experience in the fifties, growing up during the McCarthy era, and hearing a lot of assumptions that America was wonderful and Communism was terrible.
Warren Farrell
Those who call me an opportunist are following the old rule: If you can't attack the data, attack the person.
Warren Farrell
Our main reasons for fearing males having sex with males is that you really had to construct a more powerful social role to keep men in their place than you did to keep women in their place.
Warren Farrell
We always look at the 'Fortune 500,' and we say, men in power, but we don't look at the glass cellar as opposed to the glass ceiling and say, men also are the homeless, men are also the ones that are the garbage collectors. Men are also the ones dying in construction sites that aren't properly supervised for safety hazards.
Warren Farrell
In our society, the sound of men complaining is like nails on a chalkboard.
Warren Farrell
Feminists have confused opportunity with outcome.
Men are fair, and they have learned not to personalize anger – they can disagree with you and argue to the bone, but afterward they still consider you a nice person with whom the underlying human relationship need not be altered.
Warren Farrell
And then in 1956 or 1957 my family went over to Europe and I moved over with them, and immediately people in Europe thought my perspective on that issue was 100% correct.
Warren Farrell
If you are a woman, you might feel torn between logical agreement and emotional resistance. Why? It seems like a simpler solution to blame men for the pay gap than to engineer your own bridge to higher pay.
Warren Farrell
Men have not stacked the decks against women.
There are 80 jobs in which women earn more than men – positions like financial analyst, speech-language pathologist, radiation therapist, library worker, biological technician, motion picture projectionist.
Warren Farrell
Now, since I'm a husband and father, discrimination against women isn't just political, it's personal.
Warren Farrell
I'm not saying that men make better fathers than women do mothers.
You could make a case that women addicted men to their sexuality and then withdrew their sexuality until we provided them with a source of income.
Warren Farrell
For example, the equivalent of a woman being treated as a sex object is a man being treated as a success object.
Warren Farrell
Throughout my life I have always been amazed that people couldn't listen to other people, that they couldn't hear their best intent, that there seemed to be an enormous need to demonize.
Warren Farrell
I'm a great supporter of women who take risks and don't make victimhood into an art. It's not good for women, and it's not good for men. Too many men put all their emotional eggs in one basket – a woman's basket.
Warren Farrell
We take men's obligation to earn money, and when they do it well, we blame them for having power and being oppressors. And when they don't do it all, women just don't marry men who are reading 'I'm Okay, You're Okay' in the unemployment line.
Warren Farrell
Feminism justified female 'victim power' by convincing the world that we lived in a sexist, male-dominated, and patriarchal world.
Warren Farrell
A 2001 survey of business owners with MBAs conducted by the Rochester Institute of Technology found that money was the primary motivator for only 29% of women, versus 76% of men. Women prioritized flexibility, fulfillment, autonomy and safety.
Warren Farrell
Companies like I.B.M. have offered women scholarships to study engineering for years, and women engineers routinely get higher starting salaries than men.
Warren Farrell
A man's primary fantasy is access to a variety of attractive women without the fear of rejection.
Warren Farrell
I don't have children that I've lost in a bitter custody dispute. But I see an enormous wound in kids due to a lack of their dads.
Warren Farrell
The five different areas in which boys are in crisis – education; jobs; emotional health; physical health; and fatherlessness – are handled by different portions of the government.
Warren Farrell
My wife's income allowed me to do what I really loved. I realized that women's liberation is men's liberation, too.
Warren Farrell
When women criticized men, I called it 'insight'… When men criticized women, I called it 'sexism' and 'backlash.'
Warren Farrell
When women hold off from marrying men, we call it independence. When men hold off from marrying women, we call it fear of commitment.
Warren Farrell
Without husbands, women have to focus on earning more. They work longer hours, they're willing to relocate and they're more likely to choose higher-paying fields like technology.
Warren Farrell
Is there discrimination against women? Yes. There's no denying that the old boys' network is alive and well. But there's also discrimination against men.
Warren Farrell
So long as you create laws that define women as victims, as creatures that demand protection, that need bodyguards, you are going to perpetuate the very worst of our sexist past.
Warren Farrell
A lot of young men are frustrated and looking for someone to blame.
I definitely agree with choices for women, but I do not agree with choices for women when they eliminate choices for men. Rather, I think that the sexes need to make choices that lead to the maximum amount of win-win for both sexes.
Warren Farrell
Is there discrimination against women? Yes, like the old boys' network. And sometimes discrimination against women becomes discrimination against men: in hazardous fields, women suffer fewer hazards.
Warren Farrell
I've always been motivated to stop people from doing dysfunctional things.
Warren Farrell
All women's issues are to some degree men's issues and all men's issues are to some degree women's issues because when either sex wins unilaterally both sexes lose.
Warren Farrell
I realized that women's liberation is men's liberation, too.
Women are the only 'oppressed' group that is able to buy most of the $10 billion worth of cosmetics each year; the only oppressed group that spends more on high fashion, brand-name clothing than its oppressors; the only oppressed group that watches more TV.
Warren Farrell
I define power as 'control over one's life.' A balanced life is far superior to the male definition of power: earning money someone else spends while he dies sooner.
Warren Farrell
When a man is able to connect with his feelings, he is able to care more.

Feminists have confused opportunity with outcome.
So we've moved from an era when women's biology was women's destiny to today, which is an era in which men's biology is men's destiny.
Warren Farrell
Once boys' and men's challenges are clear, the question 'why now' quickly becomes 'why didn't we see this sooner?' The answer? Virtually every society that survived did so by socializing its sons to be disposable.
Warren Farrell
People who work 44 hours per week make 50 percent more than people who work 34 hours a week.
Warren Farrell
I am always someone who follows the research more than my self-interest. It certainly has not been in my self-interest to defend men. I've gone from being quite wealthy, when I was defending women, to being quite poor defending men.
Warren Farrell
Nobody really believes in equality anyway.
I've gone from being quite wealthy, when I was defending women, to being quite poor defending men.
Warren Farrell
Women and men look at their life, and women say, 'What do I need? Do I need more money, or do I need more time?' And women are intelligent enough to say, 'I need more time.' And so, women lead balanced lives; men should be learning from women.
Warren Farrell
The key to wealth is not what we earn. It is in what is spent on us.
The women themselves say they're far more likely to care about flexibility. The men say, 'I'm far more likely to care about money.'
Warren Farrell
After years of research, I discovered 25 differences in the work-life choices of men and women. All 25 lead to men earning more money, but to women having better lives.
Warren Farrell
I started to get very well recognized in the early seventies as the only man in the United States who had been elected three times to the board of NOW in New York City.
Warren Farrell
Men's competitive team sports focus on the balance between individual achievement and team achievement with the emphasis on team achievement.
Warren Farrell
If a man belittles a woman, it could become a lawsuit. If women belittle men, it's a Hallmark card.
Warren Farrell
One can make a case that says that since 85% of children being brought up in single family homes are being brought up by women that about 85% of elementary school teachers should be males to balance out the feminization that the boys and girls receive.
Warren Farrell
The problem is that Americans care more about saving whales than saving males.
Warren Farrell
Men make more money but have lower net worths.
We have been suckered into believing that, because there are more men at the top than women at the top, that this is a result of discrimination against women. That's been the misconception. It's all about trade-offs. You earn more money, you usually sacrifice something at home.
Warren Farrell
And we reduce almost all male-female problems by working on both the female and the male. And that usually means having both sexes take responsibility.
Warren Farrell
Financial analysts make a lot more than accountants.
I'm an awfully loyal friend. Once I've started a relationship with someone, it's like they are syrup and I'm a pancake. Their syrup gets into my pancake, so to speak.
Warren Farrell
In fact, the socialization gives us the tools to fill our evolutionary roles. They are our building blocks.
Warren Farrell
The Myth of Male Power dealt much more with the political issues, the legal issues, sexual harassment, date rape, women who kill, and those issues were very much more interfaced with the agendas of feminism.
Warren Farrell
Feminists who say that I switched sides because I am an opportunist should know that exactly the opposite is true. It's cost me a lot of money. I've gone from being well-to-do to being $70,000 in debt. I have done something self-destructive financially. I could only do it because I don't have to support a wife and child.
Warren Farrell
Men don't oppress women any more than women oppress men.
The average full-time working male works more than a full-time working female.
Warren Farrell
A man perceives himself as owning and being owned by a woman.
A woman with organizing skills can run a construction company without ever picking up a hammer and nail.
Warren Farrell
I found that women entrepreneurs earn 50% less than their male counterparts.
Warren Farrell
Boys with a 'failure to launch' are invisible to most girls. With poor social skills, the boys feel anger at their fear of being rejected and self-loathing at their inability to compete.
Warren Farrell
The male corporate model is built on a man's greater willingness to be a slave of sorts – especially once he has to provide for children.
Warren Farrell
While girls average a healthy five hours a week on video games, boys average 13. The problem? The brain chemistry of video games stimulates feel-good dopamine that builds motivation to win in a fantasy while starving the parts of the brain focused on real-world motivation.
Warren Farrell
Men are likely to be quite generous, especially financially.
Let's face it: men do a lot of things in the workplace that women just don't do.
Warren Farrell
In America and in most of the industrialized world, men are coming to be thought of by feminists in very much the same way that Jews were thought of by early Nazis. The comparison is overwhelmingly scary.
Warren Farrell
Because of the feminist perspective, we have gotten a view of the world that is distorted.
Warren Farrell
Men rarely worry about using or being used because all relationships work that way. A man perceives himself as owning and being owned by a woman. 'Use' is a dirty word only when there's an imbalance in the relationship.
Warren Farrell
The only men who aren't in fear of women's reactions are usually men who aren't born or who are dead.
Warren Farrell
Virtually every society that survived did so by socializing its sons to be disposable. Disposable in war; disposable in work. We need warriors and volunteer firefighters, so we label these men heroes.
Warren Farrell
It certainly has not been in my self-interest to defend men.
Every movement has radicals. But the important thing is that the radicals are not the leaders.
Warren Farrell
For blacks in our society, victimization may be a true issue. But it isn't a true issue for women. Neither men nor women are victimized. The true issue, that I try to point out, is that both sexes suffer restricted roles.
Warren Farrell