Warren Farrell in 2011
|Born||Warren Thomas Farrell
June 26, 1943
Queens, New York
Ph.D from NYU in Political Science
|Alma mater||NYU, UCLA, Montclair State University|
|Subject||Men’s, Women’s, fathers’ issues, gender; couples’ communication; child custody; boy crisis.|
|Literary movement||Women’s movement
|Notable works||The Liberated Man (1974)
Why Men Are the Way They Are (1986)
The Myth of Male Power (1993)
Women Can’t Hear What Men Don’t Say (1999)
Father and Child Reunion (2001)
Why Men Earn More (2005)
Does Feminism Discriminate Against Men? (2008)
California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists (CAMFT) Award for Outstanding Contribution to the field of psychology, Santa Barbara, CA, 1988
Professional School of Psychology, San Diego, 1985
Ursula Farrell (divorced)
Liz Dowling (2002 to present)
Men are often a lot less vindictive than women are, because we are rejected constantly every day.
I don't think there's anything that is a greater area of discrimination against women today than the fact that nowhere in the world is there a female role model in team sports that more than half of a general audience would recognize.
Without children, men have more liberty to earn less – that is, they are free to pursue more fulfilling and less lucrative careers, like writing or art or teaching social studies.
Nobody has said to men, 'It is OK if you want to be a full-time dad; find a woman who will support you.'
If women had to promise to provide for a man for a lifetime before he removed his veil and showed her his smile, would we think of this as a system of female privilege?
Men have the influence and power in business and politics. It is the mother who can make the child's bedtime earlier, take away desserts or ground the child.
It evolved from my experience in the fifties, growing up during the McCarthy era, and hearing a lot of assumptions that America was wonderful and Communism was terrible.
Those who call me an opportunist are following the old rule: If you can't attack the data, attack the person.
Our main reasons for fearing males having sex with males is that you really had to construct a more powerful social role to keep men in their place than you did to keep women in their place.
We always look at the 'Fortune 500,' and we say, men in power, but we don't look at the glass cellar as opposed to the glass ceiling and say, men also are the homeless, men are also the ones that are the garbage collectors. Men are also the ones dying in construction sites that aren't properly supervised for safety hazards.
In our society, the sound of men complaining is like nails on a chalkboard.
Men are fair, and they have learned not to personalize anger – they can disagree with you and argue to the bone, but afterward they still consider you a nice person with whom the underlying human relationship need not be altered.
And then in 1956 or 1957 my family went over to Europe and I moved over with them, and immediately people in Europe thought my perspective on that issue was 100% correct.
If you are a woman, you might feel torn between logical agreement and emotional resistance. Why? It seems like a simpler solution to blame men for the pay gap than to engineer your own bridge to higher pay.
There are 80 jobs in which women earn more than men – positions like financial analyst, speech-language pathologist, radiation therapist, library worker, biological technician, motion picture projectionist.
Now, since I'm a husband and father, discrimination against women isn't just political, it's personal.
You could make a case that women addicted men to their sexuality and then withdrew their sexuality until we provided them with a source of income.
For example, the equivalent of a woman being treated as a sex object is a man being treated as a success object.
Throughout my life I have always been amazed that people couldn't listen to other people, that they couldn't hear their best intent, that there seemed to be an enormous need to demonize.
I'm a great supporter of women who take risks and don't make victimhood into an art. It's not good for women, and it's not good for men. Too many men put all their emotional eggs in one basket – a woman's basket.
We take men's obligation to earn money, and when they do it well, we blame them for having power and being oppressors. And when they don't do it all, women just don't marry men who are reading 'I'm Okay, You're Okay' in the unemployment line.
Feminism justified female 'victim power' by convincing the world that we lived in a sexist, male-dominated, and patriarchal world.
A 2001 survey of business owners with MBAs conducted by the Rochester Institute of Technology found that money was the primary motivator for only 29% of women, versus 76% of men. Women prioritized flexibility, fulfillment, autonomy and safety.
Companies like I.B.M. have offered women scholarships to study engineering for years, and women engineers routinely get higher starting salaries than men.
A man's primary fantasy is access to a variety of attractive women without the fear of rejection.
I don't have children that I've lost in a bitter custody dispute. But I see an enormous wound in kids due to a lack of their dads.
The five different areas in which boys are in crisis – education; jobs; emotional health; physical health; and fatherlessness – are handled by different portions of the government.
My wife's income allowed me to do what I really loved. I realized that women's liberation is men's liberation, too.
When women criticized men, I called it 'insight'… When men criticized women, I called it 'sexism' and 'backlash.'
When women hold off from marrying men, we call it independence. When men hold off from marrying women, we call it fear of commitment.
Without husbands, women have to focus on earning more. They work longer hours, they're willing to relocate and they're more likely to choose higher-paying fields like technology.
Is there discrimination against women? Yes. There's no denying that the old boys' network is alive and well. But there's also discrimination against men.
So long as you create laws that define women as victims, as creatures that demand protection, that need bodyguards, you are going to perpetuate the very worst of our sexist past.
I definitely agree with choices for women, but I do not agree with choices for women when they eliminate choices for men. Rather, I think that the sexes need to make choices that lead to the maximum amount of win-win for both sexes.
Is there discrimination against women? Yes, like the old boys' network. And sometimes discrimination against women becomes discrimination against men: in hazardous fields, women suffer fewer hazards.
I've always been motivated to stop people from doing dysfunctional things.
All women's issues are to some degree men's issues and all men's issues are to some degree women's issues because when either sex wins unilaterally both sexes lose.
Women are the only 'oppressed' group that is able to buy most of the $10 billion worth of cosmetics each year; the only oppressed group that spends more on high fashion, brand-name clothing than its oppressors; the only oppressed group that watches more TV.
I define power as 'control over one's life.' A balanced life is far superior to the male definition of power: earning money someone else spends while he dies sooner.
So we've moved from an era when women's biology was women's destiny to today, which is an era in which men's biology is men's destiny.
Once boys' and men's challenges are clear, the question 'why now' quickly becomes 'why didn't we see this sooner?' The answer? Virtually every society that survived did so by socializing its sons to be disposable.
People who work 44 hours per week make 50 percent more than people who work 34 hours a week.
I am always someone who follows the research more than my self-interest. It certainly has not been in my self-interest to defend men. I've gone from being quite wealthy, when I was defending women, to being quite poor defending men.
I've gone from being quite wealthy, when I was defending women, to being quite poor defending men.
Women and men look at their life, and women say, 'What do I need? Do I need more money, or do I need more time?' And women are intelligent enough to say, 'I need more time.' And so, women lead balanced lives; men should be learning from women.
The women themselves say they're far more likely to care about flexibility. The men say, 'I'm far more likely to care about money.'
After years of research, I discovered 25 differences in the work-life choices of men and women. All 25 lead to men earning more money, but to women having better lives.
I started to get very well recognized in the early seventies as the only man in the United States who had been elected three times to the board of NOW in New York City.
Men's competitive team sports focus on the balance between individual achievement and team achievement with the emphasis on team achievement.
If a man belittles a woman, it could become a lawsuit. If women belittle men, it's a Hallmark card.
One can make a case that says that since 85% of children being brought up in single family homes are being brought up by women that about 85% of elementary school teachers should be males to balance out the feminization that the boys and girls receive.
The problem is that Americans care more about saving whales than saving males.
We have been suckered into believing that, because there are more men at the top than women at the top, that this is a result of discrimination against women. That's been the misconception. It's all about trade-offs. You earn more money, you usually sacrifice something at home.
And we reduce almost all male-female problems by working on both the female and the male. And that usually means having both sexes take responsibility.
I'm an awfully loyal friend. Once I've started a relationship with someone, it's like they are syrup and I'm a pancake. Their syrup gets into my pancake, so to speak.
In fact, the socialization gives us the tools to fill our evolutionary roles. They are our building blocks.
The Myth of Male Power dealt much more with the political issues, the legal issues, sexual harassment, date rape, women who kill, and those issues were very much more interfaced with the agendas of feminism.
Feminists who say that I switched sides because I am an opportunist should know that exactly the opposite is true. It's cost me a lot of money. I've gone from being well-to-do to being $70,000 in debt. I have done something self-destructive financially. I could only do it because I don't have to support a wife and child.
The average full-time working male works more than a full-time working female.
A woman with organizing skills can run a construction company without ever picking up a hammer and nail.
I found that women entrepreneurs earn 50% less than their male counterparts.
Boys with a 'failure to launch' are invisible to most girls. With poor social skills, the boys feel anger at their fear of being rejected and self-loathing at their inability to compete.
The male corporate model is built on a man's greater willingness to be a slave of sorts – especially once he has to provide for children.
While girls average a healthy five hours a week on video games, boys average 13. The problem? The brain chemistry of video games stimulates feel-good dopamine that builds motivation to win in a fantasy while starving the parts of the brain focused on real-world motivation.
Let's face it: men do a lot of things in the workplace that women just don't do.
In America and in most of the industrialized world, men are coming to be thought of by feminists in very much the same way that Jews were thought of by early Nazis. The comparison is overwhelmingly scary.
Because of the feminist perspective, we have gotten a view of the world that is distorted.
Men rarely worry about using or being used because all relationships work that way. A man perceives himself as owning and being owned by a woman. 'Use' is a dirty word only when there's an imbalance in the relationship.
The only men who aren't in fear of women's reactions are usually men who aren't born or who are dead.
Virtually every society that survived did so by socializing its sons to be disposable. Disposable in war; disposable in work. We need warriors and volunteer firefighters, so we label these men heroes.
Every movement has radicals. But the important thing is that the radicals are not the leaders.
For blacks in our society, victimization may be a true issue. But it isn't a true issue for women. Neither men nor women are victimized. The true issue, that I try to point out, is that both sexes suffer restricted roles.