Yakov Smirnoff Quotes

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Yakov Smirnoff

Smirnoff promotional image
Birth name Yakov Naumovich Pokhis
Born (1951-01-24) 24 January 1951 (age 65)
Odessa, Ukrainian SSR, Soviet Union
Medium Stand-up, television, art, books
Nationality Ukrainian-born American
Years active 1983–present
Genres Relationship humor, irony, word play, transpositional pun
Subject(s) Psychology, Russian-American culture, race relations, relationships, immigration, communism in the Soviet Union
Spouse Linda Dreeszen (1989–2001; divorced; 2 children)
Notable works and roles Yakov on Night Court
Nikolai on What a Country!
Shatov in The Money Pit
Website Official website

In Russia we only had two TV channels. Channel One was propaganda. Channel Two consisted of a KGB officer telling you: Turn back at once to Channel One.
Yakov Smirnoff
If you have something important to say, Broadway and New York are great places to say it.
Yakov Smirnoff
If love is the treasure, laughter is the key.
To my real estate agent, Chernobyl is a fixer-upper.
As Americans after 9/11, we're much more united, together as a nation, and we got stronger, better, and more at peace. By peace, I mean the harmony you can feel in our united determination to fight these terrorists and killers.
Yakov Smirnoff
Men and women are immigrants in each other's worlds.
It's kind of bittersweet. The human spirit is not measured by the size of the act, but by the size of the heart.
Yakov Smirnoff
Americans think Soviets are so grim. I want them to see that they can smile.
Yakov Smirnoff
Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list.
Yakov Smirnoff
I believe that love and laughter can only happen when one person takes the time to think about what would cause the other person to feel good.
Yakov Smirnoff
After the Soviet Union collapsed, people thought I wasn't funny anymore.
Yakov Smirnoff
We may have forgotten how to feel. Nobody is teaching us how to live happily ever after, as we've heard in fairy tales.
Yakov Smirnoff
We have been learning since we were children how to make money, buy things, build things. The whole education system is set up to teach us how to think, not to feel.
Yakov Smirnoff
When you like something, you find time to do it.
Everybody laughs the same in every language because laughter is a universal connection.
Yakov Smirnoff
I believe there is a direct correlation between love and laughter.
I like American women. They do things sexually Russian girls never dream of doing – like showering.
Yakov Smirnoff
I was this non-threatening funny guy who contrasted the image of the Brezhnevs and the Reagans of the world.
Yakov Smirnoff
People in Tulsa are totally friendly; the crowds are very nice.
Falling in love is a chemical reaction. But it wears off in a year. That's why you need a strong line of communication… which includes laughter.
Yakov Smirnoff
The ad in the paper said 'Big Sale. Last Week.' Why advertise? I already missed it. They're just rubbing it in.
Yakov Smirnoff
When the needs of one person are being met by the other, there is laughter.
Yakov Smirnoff
Balance is so important in our lives. In our busy world, we can give ourselves balance between thinking and feeling.
Yakov Smirnoff
I fed my ego, but not my soul.
The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington.
Yakov Smirnoff
I believe that laughter is a language of God and that we can all live happily ever laughter.
Yakov Smirnoff
Comedians are always hitting the topical notes that are on everybody's minds.
Yakov Smirnoff
Falling in love is a chemical reaction. But it wears off in a year.
Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.
I have American in-laws, and I care about the environment. We don't use disposable diapers, which, of course, creates an environmental problem of our own.
Yakov Smirnoff
There's depth in my comedy.
Never having alone time is real tough on people.
My father described this tall lady who stands in the middle of the New York harbor, holding high a torch to welcome people seeking freedom in America. I instantly fell in love.
Yakov Smirnoff
I was not only typecast as a Russian, but I was typecast as Yakov Smirnoff. This is understandable, and I was very happy to get the roles, but it would be nice to be in a movie where I could be someone else.
Yakov Smirnoff
I came to America to make it my home, and I did.
In today's society we sometimes forget to balance our hearts and our heads; this is the reason we stop laughing.
Yakov Smirnoff
We have a choice – we can both think and feel, using our heads and our hearts.
Yakov Smirnoff