Quotes by: Adam DeVine

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Adam DeVine
DeVine at the 2013 San Diego Comic-Con
Born Adam Patrick DeVine
(1983-11-07) November 7, 1983 (age 33)
Waterloo, Iowa, U.S.
Occupation
Comedian actor producer screenwriter voice actor
Years active 2006–present

When telemarketers call me now, I won't get the blow-horn. I'm more polite than the average person.
Adam DeVine
What happened to me is I gained a little weight so I could be more accessible to people. They're not like, 'Oh my God, he's, like, a male model comedian; yuck, ugh.' It's like, 'Oh, he's a little squishy; He's like me. He's accessible.' And girls are like, 'Look how cuddly he is. I just want to cuddle up in his neck fat and go to sleep.'
Adam DeVine
That's another piece of advice: Don't go to college; follow your dreams. Unless you're a doctor - then go to college.
Adam DeVine
The American school system's a little warped, so anyone can get a degree if they have a little money.
Adam DeVine
Hot girls have so many options. Sitting at home alone any night of the week and searching the Internet for a dude is on zero hot girls' agendas. So they're definitely not coming after you.
Adam DeVine
When I auditioned for 'Pitch Perfect,' I didn't know it was a singing movie. I didn't read the script. I go to the audition, and I'm like, 'Oh, it's a baseball movie.' But then I'm reading the lines, and I'm like, 'This doesn't seem like a baseball movie.'
Adam DeVine
If you like standup and decide that it's overtaking your life and want to hate it, watch 1,000 standup comedians who are trying to get on a TV show.
Adam DeVine
My favorite sequels are basically all Mike Myers films - 'Wayne's World 2,' 'Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me,' 'Shrek 2.' Anything he does, it's best the second time around. He needs to do 'So I Married an Axe Murderer 2.'
Adam DeVine
I'm not a good rapper. For whatever reason, my brain does not work that way. I just do the beginning, like, 'Yeah, yeah! Ha ha! Woo! What up? Come on! Get at me!' I'm Captain Hook.
Adam DeVine
I always wanted to be a stand-up comedian, even as a kid. Me and my dad would watch 'Evening at the Improv' on A&E.
Adam DeVine
I like the guys who wrote their own stuff and were able to perform it, like Seth Rogen. He popped off so young. When he did 'The 40-Year-Old Virgin,' and he was a co-producer on the movie, I was like, 'Oh my God: that's exactly what I want to do.'
Adam DeVine
When I was a teenager, I was an umpire for a competitive league for 8- to 9-year-olds. I was really bad at it because I didn't know all the rules, and all these kids were better athletes than me. I made a bad call, and this dad snapped on me. Then he dumped his trash from his cooler, and I had to kick him out of the stands.
Adam DeVine
I sold a bunch of stuff. I sold Omaha Steaks, vacation packages... the worst, though, was Time Life Books, because no one wants Time Life Books. No one wants an 'Encyclopedia Brittanica' showing up at their house.
Adam DeVine
I tried out for my basketball team every year and I never made it. You had to buy the shoes before you knew if you were on the team because it took a few weeks for them to ship. I bought the shoes every year, never once made the team, had a ton of high school basketball shoes.
Adam DeVine
You want to be excited about what you're doing. So whenever I get tired, I think, 'Would ten-year-old Adam be pretty stoked on what I'm doing and what's happening?' So I just live my life as if I'm using my ten-year-old brain.
Adam DeVine
Even as a kid, I was a businessman. I figured out that if you plucked all the berries off my neighbor's tree and smashed them up, they made a Nickelodeon Gak-type consistency. I sold them to all the neighborhood kids and made stacks of quarters. Of course, the berries were poisonous, and I got in all types of trouble.
Adam DeVine
I always wanted to be a comedic actor - that's what I wanted from the job - to do comedy and to create my own comedy. But I still love doing stand-up and will probably be doing it forever. I'd love to be an old guy who can't really walk, can't really stand-up, and I have to sit on the stool and tell jokes.
Adam DeVine
I sold steaks over the phone in Omaha, Nebraska. Marbling, fantastic. That's what makes a great steak; a lot of people don't know.
Adam DeVine
I did telemarketing for years, starting at the age of 16, just selling steak knives to old people. Old people go through a weird amount of steak knives. I also sold straight meat over the telephone.
Adam DeVine
Some celebrities like to get behind water conservation or helping the homeless get back on their feet. Me? Body grooming control: that's what I like to step behind 100 percent.
Adam DeVine
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