Quotes by: Carol Burnett

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Carol Burnett
Burnett receiving a Presidential Medal of Freedom in 2005
Born Carol Creighton Burnett
(1933-04-26) April 26, 1933 (age 83)
San Antonio, Texas, U.S.
Occupation Actress, comedian, singer, writer
Years active 1955–present
Spouse(s) Don Saroyan
(m. 1955; div. 1962)

Joe Hamilton
(m. 1963; div. 1984)

Brian Miller
(m. 2001)
Children 3, including Carrie, Jody and Erin Hamilton

I was kind of shy as a kid. I was a pretty good student. I was a wallflower, or nerd, if you will.
Carol Burnett
My grandmother and I followed my mother here, to a house a block north of Hollywood Boulevard but a million miles away from Hollywood, if you know what I mean. We would hang out behind the ropes and look at the movie stars arriving at the premieres.
Carol Burnett
I think the hardest thing to do in the world, show-business-wise, is write comedy.
Carol Burnett
I can't tell a joke to save my soul. It's just not my thing, though I love to listen to jokes.
Carol Burnett
My favorite is doing the television show, as a variety show, every week. If the show wasn't that great one week, we could always come back and apologize, you know?
Carol Burnett
On the good days, my mother would haul out the ukulele and we'd sit around the kitchen table - it was a cardboard table with a linoleum top - and sing.
Carol Burnett
In '57, I got a job at the Blue Angel nightclub, and a gentleman named Ken Welch wrote all my material for me. I lived at a place called the Rehearsal Club that was actually the basis for a play called Stage Door.
Carol Burnett
I'm really not that funny in real life! But I am the best audience one could find. I love to laugh.
Carol Burnett
I wish my mother had left me something about how she felt growing up. I wish my grandmother had done the same. I wanted my girls to know me.
Carol Burnett
I love the writing. I love the idea of typing and seeing it on the computer and printing it out myself and, you know, moving sentences around. I like that.
Carol Burnett
But I didn't ask to have somebody nose around in my private life. I didn't even ask to be famous. All I asked was to be able to earn a living making people laugh.
Carol Burnett
My grandmother and I would go see movies, and we'd come back to the apartment - we had a one-room apartment in Hollywood - and I would kind of lock myself in this little dressing room area with a cracked mirror on the door and act out what I had just seen.
Carol Burnett
You have to go through the falling down in order to learn to walk. It helps to know that you can survive it. That's an education in itself.
Carol Burnett
It costs a lot to sue a magazine, and it's too bad that we don't have a system where the losing team has to pay the winning team's lawyers.
Carol Burnett
I'm glad I was born when I was. My time was the golden age of variety. If I were starting out again now, maybe things would happen for me, but it certainly would not be on a variety show with 28 musicians, 12 dancers, two major guest stars, 50 costumes a week by Bob Mackie. The networks just wouldn't spend the money today.
Carol Burnett
It's also selfish because it makes you feel good when you help others. I've been helped by acts of kindness from strangers. That's why we're here, after all, to help others.
Carol Burnett
My childhood was rough, we were poor and my parents were alcoholics, but nobody was mean. I knew I was loved. We were on welfare, but I never felt abandoned or unloved.
Carol Burnett
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When you blame others you give up your power to change. Take responsibility for your future!

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