Quotes by: Hal Sparks

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Vegas has the Whitman's Sampler of audiences. They come from all different places, so you have to do some crowd psychology. You have to find the heartbeat of the room. It doesn't shift my jokes, but it shifts my timing and my attention.
Hal Sparks
If 'Airplane!' comes on, it's like a comfort film. You can always guarantee a laugh watching that movie.
Hal Sparks
Mainly, when I go see a show, unfortunately it's more industrial espionage than it is going to actually enjoy a show.
Hal Sparks
There is never hesitation about doing stand-up. It's just me doing my thing. Unlike being in a band or a play or something, I don't have to rely on anyone else but me.
Hal Sparks
People think that the arts are optional and they aren't. They teach a level of emotional depth that's equally important to mathematic skill. You can replace some math skills with a calculator if you know how to operate the thing, but there's no calculator for human interaction.
Hal Sparks
Someone needs to remind American CEOs that if you can't run a company that is innovative, financially sound and doesn't poison the rest of us, You can't run a company.
Hal Sparks
I've always said that I benefit, as an actor, from not having the illusion of security.
Hal Sparks
Most 'reality' shows aren't reality at all. They're game shows with no prize. Like 'Rock of Love.' His aren't genuine feelings. Then again, Bob Barker didn't really care whether or not you won the toaster. Sorry to shatter everyone's dreams.
Hal Sparks
If you are for freedom and equal rights, which we hear a lot of talk about these days, then you have to include the LGBTQ community in that. And if you're not willing to put your time where your mouth is, then I don't know quite what you mean by commitment in your life.
Hal Sparks
I'm a futurist. Technology is our way out of almost every problem we have. Technology can create a new sense of community.
Hal Sparks
You would not believe how much time people waste in a day. And how little time they put into things they genuinely love.
Hal Sparks
Other kids would sneak out of the house to go to parties and do untoward things. I was sneaking out to do standup downtown. It paid off.
Hal Sparks
There is never hesitation about doing stand-up. It's just me doing my thing.
Hal Sparks
If you take anything I say with any seriousness whatsoever, go study Yang style tai chi. It will make you live longer.
Hal Sparks
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