Quotes by: Karl Pilkington
I've done some luxury flying, which is brilliant. It has only happened once or twice, but it was nice because flying is the worst part of the holiday. But then again, if the plane crashes, you're still dead. For that much money I'd want a little capsule that whizzed me off to safety if it was going to crash.
The reason I did the book about holidays is that you're a different person on holiday. You're sleeping somewhere unfamiliar, knocking about with people you've never met and for 10 days you're someone else. You're out of your comfortable zone.
I mean, I don't really go out at night in terms of noisy, busy places; I prefer more of a quiet corner somewhere.
I've never understood the 'things to do before you die' idea. If I was ill, I'd be in no mood to have a swim with a dolphin.
I came face-to-face with a gorilla which was quite good, but it was a 10-hour trek in bad weather, up hills, covered in mud, with mosquitoes everywhere and when we got there the gorilla's just sat there doing nowt.
I was impressed by the Taj Mahal. A good bit of work, well looked after, worth paying money to see.
The poorer people and criminals of Mexico who are not very religious but not quite atheists, either, worship Saint Death.
All fame is is having people you don't know coming up to you and saying, 'Hello.' I'm always polite and people are always nice, but it's weird.
I've never won many awards, I didn't get certificates for swimming or anything.
I'd rather live in a cave with a view of a palace than live in a palace with a view of a cave.
People say if bees die out, the world would end, apparently. Now, I don't know if that's true, if that's some bee enthusiast who managed to write a good document, and people believe this.
If you sit in a bath of pineapple chunks, it can kill you. That's well documented.
To be honest, marriage doesn't scare me and that, it's just once you've been together for so long, if you haven't got any kids it's just a big expensive day out for everyone else to enjoy, isn't it?
Being honest with you, it's not the 'great' wall of China. It's an all right wall. It's the 'All Right Wall of China.'
If you'd have told me five years ago that I'd have done all this - two books, some television and everything - I'd panic, I'd be scared.