Quotes by: Kathy Griffin

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Kathy Griffin
Griffin at the 2015 Television Critics Association’s Press Tour
Birth name Kathleen Mary Griffin
Born (1960-11-04) November 4, 1960 (age 56)
Chicago, Illinois, U.S.
Medium
Television stand-up
Nationality American
Years active 1980–present
Genres
Observational comedy ribaldry black comedy improvisational comedy
Subject(s) Popular culture
Spouse Matt Moline (m. 2001; div. 2006)
Website kathygriffin.net

I am an outsider looking in, absolutely. You're not going to see me at the Academy Awards 'Vanity Fair' party any time soon. I'm not somebody who, no matter where I go, there are paparazzi or any of that nonsense. But I have a little window into that world, and I can enter it and dance around. I want to be the audience's ticket into the party.
Kathy Griffin
I can say whatever I want. So do not bring the kids. It's definitely rated R.
Kathy Griffin
I'm always listening and watching; my ear is like a boom mike. And judging, frankly. Constantly judging.
Kathy Griffin
I grew up in Chicago and was a huge fan of 'The Second City', so when I moved to L.A., I was looking for anything that resembled that... then I started 'The Groundlings', so I went to a show and it was very much like 'Second City'. I was so impressed that that same night I went backstage and I went up to the funniest person there.
Kathy Griffin
The beauty about the D-list is that people who are on it probably don't know they are.
Kathy Griffin
I'm not an artist. I tell inappropriate stories and jokes and I try to make people laugh.
Kathy Griffin
I prefer being known for my stand-up because I write it. I love being an actor, and saying other people's words is great. But then, when I do stand-up, I love getting my own point of view out there.
Kathy Griffin
I hate it, it is tedious... when I write for my act, it is very improvisational, I write bullet points, I cannot sit in front of a computer; that is not my style.
Kathy Griffin
I apologize in my real life all the time. I say ridiculous things, I make mistakes constantly. But when I'm on stage, I'm at a microphone... it's a joke!
Kathy Griffin
I have friends who are going through chemotherapy, and they make the darkest, most hideous cancer jokes you've ever heard.
Kathy Griffin
I think I love Montreal more than Montreal loves me... I love the food there.
Kathy Griffin
I actually have to pick and chose stuff that I know I'm going to bomb at.
Kathy Griffin
Well, the coffeehouse audiences never know what they're going to get, and all the comics are different, as opposed to when you go to a club, and they're pretty much all telling jokes with set-ups and punchlines. Coffeehouse audiences are the most forgiving: They really listen, which is the best part.
Kathy Griffin
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