Quotes by: Larry David

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If I wasn't a golfer, I would still be miserable - but not as miserable.
Larry David
Woody Allen likes to do a lot of master shots. He likes to get the whole thing in one take, and so you could be going along doing a scene, and then the next to last line, all of a sudden, you stumble, and you have to go back to first base.
Larry David
I couldn't be happier that President Bush has stood up for having served in the National Guard, because I can finally put an end to all those who questioned my motives for enlisting in the Army Reserve at the height of the Vietnam War.
Larry David
It's always good to take something that's happened in your life and make something of it comedically.
Larry David
I don't think anyone really is interested in reading about my emotional state. It's not even interesting to me.
Larry David
I don't like to be out of my comfort zone, which is about a half an inch wide.
Larry David
When I was living in New York and didn't have a penny to my name, I would walk around the streets and occasionally I would see an alcove or something. And I'd think, that'll be good, that'll be a good spot for me when I'm homeless.
Larry David
Hear the birds? Sometimes I like to pretend that I'm deaf and I try to imagine what it's like not to be able to hear them. It's not that bad.
Larry David
The best situation is being a single parent. The best part about is that you get time off, too, because the kids are with their mom, so it's the best of both worlds. There's a lot to be said for it.
Larry David
I've led this empty life for over forty years and now I can pass that heritage on and ensure that the misery will continue for at least one more generation.
Larry David
All of a sudden I discovered that I'm allergic to caviar. It was the perfect metaphor for my life. When I was only able to afford bad caviar, I could certainly eat my fill of it.
Larry David
I've been in therapy. I know enough about myself now to know that I really don't need to know anymore.
Larry David
I still think of that guy I was without a wife or kids, and I still want to entertain that guy. The lonely guy, the frustrated guy, the guy with no money - this is the guy who needs to laugh.
Larry David
It has to do - I think - with growing up in an apartment, with my aunt and my cousins right next door to me, with the door open, with neighbors walking in and out, with people yelling at each other all the time.
Larry David
I don't take on big things. What I do, pretty much, is make the big things small and the small things big.
Larry David
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