Quotes by: Larry David

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Sometimes I have these fantasies of just moving to a foreign country and coming back with a full head of hair. Or not even come back! Make a new life there with hair... Change my name, just see what happens.
Larry David
Most practical jokes, I'll feel too bad for the other person so I'll stop just before the punchline.
Larry David
I never thought for a second that anything I ever did was going to make someone cringe. That never occurred to me.
Larry David
I think that for the most part, when I started doing comedy, it had become very commercialized.
Larry David
My life has changed. I'm not walking around any more wishing I wasn't me, which was the case at one time.
Larry David
Anything that's for free, people will take. They don't discriminate.
Larry David
If I tried to flirt with a woman and she didn't know who I was, she would run away.
Larry David
There's also a certain rhythm to the way Jews talk that might be funny.
Larry David
The lunch in a normal American restaurant is very problematic for me. I don't like to have hot food for lunch.
Larry David
I think golf is literally an addiction. I'm surprised there's not Golf Anonymous.
Larry David
Well, I always think the worst things are going to happen here, because I'm - basically inside, I'm a bad person, and so the bad kind of takes over.
Larry David
Actually I walk around with the Emmy wherever I go, but I'm very casual about it.
Larry David
There's a sense of spontaneity, and no emphasis on jokes in this show. People generally talk the way they talk in life if you were in this particular situation.
Larry David
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