Quotes by: Neil Simon

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Neil Simon
Simon in 1974
Born Marvin Neil Simon
(1927-07-04) July 4, 1927 (age 89)
The Bronx, New York, U.S.
Occupation Playwright, screenwriter, author
Nationality American
Alma mater New York University[1]
University of Denver[1]
Spouse Joan Baim (1953–1973; her death; 2 children)
Marsha Mason (1973–1983; divorced)
Diane Lander (1987–1988; divorced), (1990–1998; divorced; 1 child)
Elaine Joyce (1999–present)
Child(ren) 3
Information
Period 1948–2010
Genre Comedy, autobiography
Notable work(s) Brighton Beach Memoirs
Biloxi Blues
The Odd Couple
Lost in Yonkers
Awards Pulitzer Prize for Drama (1991)

Nathan Lane always wanted to play Oscar. When he came in the first day, he already knew his lines. He said he'd known them since he was 18.
Neil Simon
If no one ever took risks, Michaelangelo would have painted the Sistine floor.
Neil Simon
I love living. I have some problems with my life, but living is the best thing they've come up with so far.
Neil Simon
Take care of him. And make him feel important. And if you can do that, you'll have a happy and wonderful marriage. Like two out of every ten couples.
Neil Simon
Everyone thinks they can write a play; you just write down what happened to you. But the art of it is drawing from all the moments of your life.
Neil Simon
Sudden money is going from zero to two hundred dollars a week. The rest doesn't count.
Neil Simon
Sports is the only entertainment where, no matter how many times you go back, you never know the ending.
Neil Simon
If you can go through life without experiencing pain you probably haven't been born yet.
Neil Simon
Money brings some happiness. But after a certain point, it just brings more money.
Neil Simon
Gee, what a terrific party. Later on we'll get some fluid and embalm each other.
Neil Simon
You must realize that honorary degrees are given generally to people whose SAT scores were too low to get them into schools the regular way. As a matter of fact, it was my SAT scores that led me into my present vocation in life, comedy.
Neil Simon
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