Quotes by: Pat Paulsen

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Pat Paulsen
Paulsen in 1970
Born Patrick Layton Paulsen
(1927-07-06)July 6, 1927
South Bend, Washington, U.S.
Died April 24, 1997(1997-04-24) (aged 69)
Tijuana, Mexico
Occupation Comedian, satirist
Spouse(s) Betty Jane Cox (m. 1959; div. 1988)
Linda Chaney (m. 1988; div. 1989)
Noma Littell (m. 1990)
Website www.paulsen.com

A gun is a necessity. Who knows if you're walking down a street and you spot a moose?
Pat Paulsen
I've been on the campaign trail so long, some of my wine has turned to vinegar.
Pat Paulsen
The federal government spends millions to run the Postal Service. I could lose your mail for half of that.
Pat Paulsen
Actually, my wine was served at the White House twice. Reagan must have been asleep when he ordered it.
Pat Paulsen
I'd learned some things. I knew you weren't supposed to hold a good wine at the top - the paper bag falls off.
Pat Paulsen
I want to caucus in Iowa. I'll caucus all over the state. I don't caucus in California. You don't caucus where you live. It doesn't look good.
Pat Paulsen
Yeah, I'm running for the White House again. Well, it's not a run, really; it's sort of a brisk walk.
Pat Paulsen
I think we should just tip the government if it does a good job. Fifteen percent is the standard tip, isn't it?
Pat Paulsen
Now that my wine has been served in the White House, why not me? Who could talk to farmers better than I? Somebody even asked me the other day if I had anything in my platform about taxes. 'Hell yes,' I said. 'Great state. But I wouldn't want to live there.'
Pat Paulsen
I like to pour my wines for people. I watch their eyes, I can see what they'll like. Most people say they don't like dry wine because they haven't had a dry wine that's clean and fruity, instead of a big, oaky thing.
Pat Paulsen
The last few years of my life have been a little like a long ride in a Poop de Ville with the bottom down.
Pat Paulsen
I came down to Orange because I sold the Smothers Brothers a song called 'Chocolate,' and that gave me enough money to move down here. I was washing windows down in Orange County when they called me up and said they wanted me to do their TV show.
Pat Paulsen
Only 10 percent of the people in the U.S. like dry wines. You shouldn't get down on people just because they like a little sugar.
Pat Paulsen
I think I'd make a pretty good president, and they have a great pension plan.
Pat Paulsen
People come up to me in bars and on street corners and they say to me, 'Hey, Paulsen, have you got any change?'
Pat Paulsen
Wine is something to enjoy. We get sick and tired of people who pick it apart and talk about its 'saucy nuances.'
Pat Paulsen
You can fool some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time, but you can only make a monkey out of the voters every four years!
Pat Paulsen
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