Quotes on funny

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Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile.
Billy Sunday
I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
Mark Twain
Everyone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in case they are ever trapped in an elevator.
Lemony Snicket
Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.
Albert Einstein
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
Winston S. Churchill
Damn, Claire. Warn a guy before you do a face-plant on the floor next time. I could have looked all heroic and caught you or something -Shane
Rachel Caine
I’ve been fighting to be who I am all my life. What’s the point of being who I am, if I can’t have the person who was worth all the fighting for?
Stephanie Lennox
What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife.
Rodney Dangerfield
Don’t put your wand there, boy! ... Better wizards than you have lost buttocks, you know!
J.K. Rowling
What makes big boobs and perkiness so attractive to boys? I mean, really. Two round, mounds of fat and a fake smile. Yeah, winning attributes.
Gena Showalter
Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.
Robert Benchley
Inconceivable!"
"You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
William Goldman
You…you got rid of that dress fast," I pointed out between heavy breaths. "I thought you liked it."
"I do like it," he said. His breathing was as heavy as mine. "I love it."
And then he took me to the bed.
Richelle Mead
Remind me," he paused, drawing in a stuttered gasp, "to never piss you off again. Christ, are you secretly a ninja?
Jennifer L. Armentrout
Those sweet lips. My, oh my, I could kiss those lips all night long.

Good things come to those who wait.
Jess C. Scott
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When you blame others you give up your power to change. Take responsibility for your future!

– Chris Voss

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