Quotes on humor

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Is it true that you shouted at Professor Umbridge?"
"Yes."
"You called her a liar?"
"Yes."
"You told her He Who Must Not Be Named is back?"
"Yes."
"Have a biscuit, Potter.
J.K. Rowling
Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile.
Billy Sunday
If the world were merely seductive, that would be easy. If it were merely challenging, that would be no problem. But I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day.
E.B. White
Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.
Mark Twain
Do you remember back at the hotel when you promised that if we lived, you’d get dressed up in a nurse’s outfit and give me a sponge bath?" asked Jace.
"It was Simon who promised you the sponge bath."
"As soon as I’m back on my feet, handsome," said Simon.
"I knew we should have left you a rat.
Cassandra Clare
I do not want people to be very agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them a great deal.
Jane Austen
If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign?
Albert Einstein
Well, I’m not kissing the mundane," said Jace. "I’d rather stay down here and rot."
"Forever?" said Simon. "Forever’s an awfully long time."
Jace raised his eyebrows. "I knew it," he said. "You want to kiss me, don’t you?
Cassandra Clare
There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.

There is another theory which states that this has already happened.
Douglas Adams
There are two motives for reading a book; one, that you enjoy it; the other, that you can boast about it.
Bertrand Russell
I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
Mark Twain
It is hard enough to remember my opinions, without also remembering my reasons for them!
Friedrich Nietzsche
So please, oh please, we beg, we pray,
Go throw your TV set away,
And in its place you can install
A lovely bookshelf on the wall.
Then fill the shelves with lots of books.
Roald Dahl
I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn’t know.
Mark Twain
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When you blame others you give up your power to change. Take responsibility for your future!

– Chris Voss

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