Quotes on humor

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The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates.
Dave Barry
The road to creativity passes so close to the madhouse and often detours or ends there.
Ernest Becker
Let me ask you a question Alex. What do you think is the greatest evil on this plant today?"
"Is that including, or not including you?
Anthony Horowitz
Of course, it is boring to read about boring thing, but it is better to read something that makes you yawn with boredom than something that will make you weep uncontrollably, pound your fists against the floor, and leave tearstains all over your pillowcase, sheets, and boomerang collection.
Lemony Snicket
Often it does seem such a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.
Mark Twain
Tell you what, you let me go, and I’ll ask you plenty of questions about your race. Until then, I’m slightly distracted with how this little vacation on the good ship Holy Sh*t is going to pan out for me.
J.R. Ward
If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?
Steven Wright
I have noticed that the people who are late are often so much jollier than the people who have to wait for them.
Edward Verrall Lucas
They say: Think twice before you jump. I say: Jump first and then think as much as you want!
Osho
The French have a new president, the British will soon have a new P.M., and we envy them as we endure the endless wait for this small dim man to go back to Texas and resume his life.
Garrison Keillor
Frank didn’t drop you on purpose,” she said. “He’s not like that. He’s just a little clumsy sometimes.”

“Oops,” Leo said, in his best Frank Zhang voice. “Dropped Leo into a squad of enemy soldiers. Dang it!
Rick Riordan
Writing is the only profession where no one considers you ridiculous if you earn no money.
Jules Renard
Okay, seriously, I dont know if this is true or not, but I heard people who use profanity are trying to compensate for their lack of you know... size" -Tuck
Simone Elkeles
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When you blame others you give up your power to change. Take responsibility for your future!

– Chris Voss

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