Quotes on humor

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There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
Steven Wright
Look!" said Foaly, pointing with some urgency into the vast steel-gray gloom, "Someone who cares!
Eoin Colfer
FABLEHAVEN: None who enter will leave unchanged. Trespassers will be turned to stone.
Brandon Mull
Thus, though I dislike to differ with such a great man, Voltaire was simply ludicrous when he said that if god did not exist it would be necessary to invent him. The human invention of god is the problem to begin with.
Christopher Hitchens
The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.
P.G. Wodehouse
Things on the essential list: vodka, Nine Inch Nails, a steady supply of mortal men, and an all-purpose bitchy attitude.
Richelle Mead
This is a mournful discovery.
1)Those who agree with you are insane
2)Those who do not agree with you are in power.
Philip K. Dick
When I buy a new book, I always read the last page first, that way in case I die before I finish, I know how it ends. That, my friend, is a dark side.
Nora Ephron
Did someone just call me the wine dude?” he asked in a lazy drawl. “It’s Bacchus, please. Or Mr. Bacchus. Or Lord Bacchus. Or, sometimes, Oh-My-Gods-Please-Don’t-Kill-Me, Lord Bacchus.
Rick Riordan
Percy was getting tired of water.
If he said that aloud, he would probably get kicked out of Poseidon’s Junior Sea Scouts, but he didn’t care.
Rick Riordan
A genius. A criminal mastermind. A millionaire. And he is only twelve years old.
Eoin Colfer
No, I do my torturing in the dungeon like any other respectable castle owner,
Jeaniene Frost
How long have you been with Raphael?”
“You ask a lot of questions for a dead woman.”
“What can I say? I prefer to die well-informed.”
-Venom and Elena
Nalini Singh
Getting you a date to prom is so hard that the hypothetical idea itself is actually used to cut diamonds," I added. Radar tapped a locker twice with his fist to show his approval, and then came back with another. "Ben, getting you a date to prom is so hard that the American government believes the problem cannot be solved with diplomacy, but will instead require force.
John Green
I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.
Rodney Dangerfield
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