Quotes on humor

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One glance and I knew exactly who and what he was. The classic alpha male, the kind who had spurred evolution forward about five million years ago by nailing every female in sight. They charmed, seduced, and behaved like bastards, and yet women were biologically incapable of resisting their magic DNA.
Lisa Kleypas
Claire was struggling through last summer’s diary volume when Myrnin popped in through the portal, wearing a big floppy black hat and a kind of crazy/stylish pimp coat that covered him from neck to ankles, black leather gloves, and a black and silver walking stick with a dragon’s head on it. And, on his lapel was a button that said, If you can read this, thank a teacher.
Rachel Caine
I ripped my left arm out of his hand and slammed my elbow into his solar plexus. He exhaled in a gasp. I lunged for the dagger and sat on top of him, my knees pinning his arms, my dagger on his throat.
He lay still. “I give up,” he said and smiled. “Your move.”
Er. I was sitting atop the Beast Lord in my underwear, holding a knife to his throat. What the hell was my next move?
Ilona Andrews
Right," Sadie said. "And Set will just stand there calmly while I read him to death.
Rick Riordan
Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book.
Ronald Reagan
We spend money that we do not have, on things we do not need, to impress people who do not care.
Will Smith
Look. Survey. Inspect. My hair is ruined! I look like a pan of bacon and eggs!
Diana Wynne Jones
Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.
George W. Bush
I came to the table, pulled up a chair, and sat.

“Everyone brought a pet. I feel left out.”

An enthusiastic howl broke the silence, and Grendel bounded through the doorway. He galloped through the steak house, skidded on the floor, smashed into my chair, and dropped a dead rat on my lap.

Awesome.
Ilona Andrews
I’d have been dead a long time ago if not for my friends, one of whom had just jumped off the cliff after me.
I’d have been a lot more appreciative if he hadn’t pushed me first." ~Cassandra Palmer
Karen Chance
What is your advice to young writers?”
“Drink, fuck and smoke plenty of cigarettes.
Charles Bukowski
See, that’s the difference,” Mauvin said. “I suffer a loss and people console me. Royce suffers a loss and whole towns evacuate.
Michael J. Sullivan
I had a dream about you last night.. you were holding a pine cone and introducing him as Gerald.
Nicole McKay
I think I did pretty well, considering I started out with nothing but a bunch of blank paper.
Steve Martin
I’m forever near a stereo saying, ‘What the fuck is this garbage?’ And the answer is always the Red Hot Chili Peppers.
Nick Cave
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When you blame others you give up your power to change. Take responsibility for your future!

– Chris Voss

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