Quotes on humor

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Heifer.”
“Rich man’s whore!”
“At least mine can cook the food he eats. And replaces it, too.”
“Now see, Dee-Ann Smith. That was just mean!
Shelly Laurenston
Anthony looked down at his evil clutches -- hands, he reminded himself, hands -- and grinned anew.
Julia Quinn
Do you always ask me the same questions you ask him?"

"It depends on whether or not I get an answer.
Anne Bishop
I had a dream about you last night... you were a giant slinky and I watched you fall down the stairs.
Amy Sommers
I had a dream about you last night. I could fly. I was going to use this power to impress you, but you were too heavy to carry, so I won you over with my personality instead
Michael Summers
If possible, try to avoid pushing each other over the edge, as that would cause me extra paperwork.
Rick Riordan
Men are all the same, they think that because they came out of the belly of a woman they know all there is to know about women.
José Saramago
She blew out a breath between gritted teeth. “Sometimes I really want to”—a frustrated sound—“bite you!”

He froze. “I might let you.”

“I won’t do it if you’d enjoy it.
Nalini Singh
I’m fine, Mom. Thanks for asking.”

...

“Of course you’re fine.” She keeps walking. “You’re the devil’s bride and these are his creatures.”

...

“I’m not the devil’s bride.”

“He carried you out of the fire and is letting you visit us from the dead. Who else would have those privileges except his bride?
Susan Ee
Walking around nude in front of humans was not a good way to keep a low profile with the community. It was an excellent way to make new friends, though.
Rachel Vincent
You called me at four thirty-four....I hate four thirty-four. I think four thirty-four should be banned and replaced with something more reasonable, like, say, nine twelve.
Darynda Jones
Could you just call me Pigeon?” he asked the teacher when she read his name.
“Does your mother call you Pigeon?”
“No.”
“Then to me you are Paul.”
...
“Nathan Sutter,” the teacher read.
“My mother never calls me Nathan.”
“Is it Nate?”
“She calls me Honeylips.
Brandon Mull
No matter how much the cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
Abraham Lincoln
He has fought many battles with us" (Jace)
By which you mean one battle" muttered Simon. "Two if you count the one I was a rat
Cassandra Clare
- Did you really save the world ?...
- Mostly I was saving my own ass. Just happend that the world was in the same spot.
Jim Butcher
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When you blame others you give up your power to change. Take responsibility for your future!

– Chris Voss

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