We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it and stop there lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove lid again and that is well but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore.
Forget men, I want to marry my MacBook. It’s dependable, reliable and you can even go shopping with it.
Hmm…now that I think about it, housecats are often coddled and petted. You don’t pet me nearly enough. You must be a lax owner. How selfish of you to deprive your cat of attention.
Is it really you this time, Kells?” “Well, I’m no maggoty corpse, if that’s what you mean.” He grinned. “That’s a relief. No maggoty corpse would be that sarcastic.
A succubus on the set. Strike that, the health-conscious kid sister made it two… succubuses. Succubusees? Succubi? Stupid Latin correspondence course.
Fire wants to burn Water wants to flow Air wants to rise Earth wants to bind Chaos wants to devour Cal wants to live
If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons.
Every intelligent being, whether it breathes or not, coughs nervously at some time in its life.
If God had wanted us to be concerned for the plight of the toads, he would have made them cute and furry.
Church was doing what he often did when dropped - lying on his back with all four legs in the air, pretending to be dead in order to induce guilt in his owners.
Laughter is good for you. Nine out of ten stand-up comedians recommend laughter in the face of intense stupidity.
We are no longer the knights who say Ni! We are now the knights who say ekki-ekki-ekki-pitang-zoom-boing!
You see, I, unlike you, have been made a prefect, which means that I, unlike you, have the power to hand out punishments.” “Yeah,” said Harry, “but you, unlike me, are a git.
Join us next time for Days of the Undead when Rachel learns her long lost brother is really a crown prince from outer space.
There are any number of magical creatures, mostly female, whose singing can bring about horror and death. Sirens, undines, banshees, Bananarama tribute bands...
Simon R. Green
You have no idea about presents or what they mean. The last present you gave me was a stick.” “You wanted a weapon.” “It was a stick.” “It had a bow on it.” “It was a stick.” “I thought you liked the stick. You laughed.
It was one thing to snuggle a little when the world seemed about to end, and quite another to explain to her parents that she wanted to date an ancient magical horse.
When you choose a man who thinks eight seconds is a long time, perhaps you need two of them. Hmm?
The ill-informed masses included her own family among their ranks, a family that specialized in being both inconvenient and asinine.