Quotes on humor

<<12--505152--5657>>
Ambulances were cool. “You just want to fondle my extraneous body parts,” I said to the EMT as I picked up a silver gadget that looked disturbingly like an alien orifice probe, broke it, then promptly put it back, hoping it wouldn’t leave someone’s life hanging in the balance because the EMT couldn’t alien-probe his orifices.
Darynda Jones
An open Facebook page is simply a psychiatric dry erase board that screams, “Look at me. I am insecure. I need your reaction to what I am doing, but you’re not cool enough to be my friend. Therefore, I will just pray you see this because the approval of God is not all I need.
Shannon L. Alder
You have to watch your language. People will think you have no fucking class
Lani Diane Rich
A library is like an island in the middle of a vast sea of ignorance, particularly if the library is very tall and the surrounding area has been flooded.
Daniel Handler
There must be something wrong with those people who think Audrey Hepburn doesn’t perspire, hiccup or sneeze, because they know that’s not true. I n fact, I hiccup more than most.
Audrey Hepburn
It took teams of LEP warlocks to slow down time for a few hours; the magic required to open a door to the tunnel was stupendous. It would be easier to shoot down the moon.
Opal tapped this into her notepad.
Reminder. Shoot down the moon? Viable?
Eoin Colfer
The lustful glances thrown his way made me wish he wasn’t such a damned bowl of eye candy."

- Cat re: Bones
Jeaniene Frost
How did you kill the Ashman in the forest last year?”
“I shot him with an arrow.”
“What kind of arrow?”
“A sharp one.”
Nate rolled his eyes. “Really, dude? A sharp one?
Chelsea Fine
Sorry," she said. "I have a psychological disorder that prevents me from keeping thoughts inside my head where they belong.
Jeri Smith-Ready
Laughter rises out of tragedy when you need it the most, and rewards you for your courage.
Erma Bombeck
Bethany blinked. "Did you just hit me?" she asked, disbelief coloring her every feature.

Skylar raised both hands, palms outward. "I come in peace!"

"You do not come in peace. You hit me."

"I hit in peace!
Jennifer Lynn Barnes
Your mum pounced on her and started sucking away. Would’ve been arousing if not for all the screaming.”

“Ian,” Bones drew out warningly.

He grinned. “You’re right. I was aroused anyway.
Jeaniene Frost
But I was not in the band, because I suffer from the kind of tone deafness that is generally associated with actual deafness
John Green
Anya jumped in front of the man, acting as his shield. “Now, Sabin. He didn’t mean any harm. He’s borderline stupid. You know that.
Gena Showalter
It doesn’t matter what temperature a room is, it’s always room temperature.
Steven Wright
What’s next? The size of my cock?”

“Hey, even pencils can get the job done—I’ve heard the moaning from your room to prove it.
J.R. Ward
There is no question that there is an unseen world. The problem is, how far is it from midtown and how late is it open?
Woody Allen
<<12--505152--5657>>

Quote of The Day
When you blame others you give up your power to change. Take responsibility for your future!

– Chris Voss

Topics
Dreams
Love
Inspirational
Life
Humor
Success
Relationships
Funny
Science
Motivational
Fear
Philosophy
Truth
Wisdom
Happiness
God
Hope
Romance
Death
More Topics
Tags
Happyness, Inspirational, Motivational, Success, Family, Hope, Life, Love, Friendship, Positive, Funny, Integrity, Peace, Happy,


www.21Quotes.com